A Deer in the Headlights

Her hands were warm on my neck, and her breath danced in my ear as she said I love you you know. We’ve been friends for twenty one years and share many quirks. One in particular is that neither of us likes to play by the rules. We seldom plan to get together ahead of time it's nearly always spontaneous, and always bohemian in one way or another.

I had asked for a neck rub and she didn't hesitate to oblige. She knew I was feeling lonely for a ghost lover who can't say I love you even though he does, who knows he needs me but won't admit it and who waits patiently to be with me as an unknown fate unfolds.

Yearning to be with someone at a distance leaves me feeling exposed and vulnerable, but terribly alive. We've never even kissed.

And now, a friend's warm hands on my body nourishes away my edgy rawness and I feel myself melt into a safe place, there in her loving arms. Her body presses against mine and her hands leave my shoulders, traveling down my biceps, forearms and hands, fingers finally interlacing with my own. After all these years, it feels as if our souls are also interlaced, dancing in and out like a delicate Celtic knot. She and I have shared men, mentored, mothered, challenged and rejected one another at different times.

As her hands move back up my arms I realize that her touch is different, more primal, perhaps more soulful. And then it dawns on me - she had earlier shared that she was ovulating and quite horny. Hmmmmm... I freeze like a deer in the headlights. Horny friend is rubbing my body in tantalizing ways. Feels good, but slightly alarming. Is this where I want go? All I can think is that I've not brushed my teeth. Uggh!

I relax and let her continue - flowing, delicate hands work their way over my back, shoulders, scooping through my hair, along the sensitive sides of my neck and then down the front of my thighs. Oh my god. I think I'm terrified. My pussy is moistening though. She leans in closer and wraps her arms around my waist. I'm terrified that she'll move to my breasts next - what about my fucking teeth? Where's my toothbrush?!!!

I could not initiate this - I'm far too self-conscious. That one time that I invited her to stay with Drew and I, she panicked (something about not having shaved her legs). And now I'm the one who's hesitating, unsure of exposing myself fully to her.

She presses even closer and says teasingly, "You know, if I were a man..."

I reply, "That's not an issue - but I do have a daughter I need to tend to". The invitation is tempting though (I could always ask her to wait while I make sure my girl's settled in to sleep upstairs).

But the truth is, I'm slightly relieved to have an excuse. Despite rampant escapades with other girls in my teen years, I've only been with one woman since I turned sixteen, and only one time. We didn't kiss (but enjoyed a few other exciting forms of contact).

Last night, I was seriously tempted but totally shy. Next time, maybe I'll let go. I'm sure there will be other nights when I'm not playing mom.

Her breasts are lovely, full pieces of art - warm bread dough, waiting to be kneaded. Nothing turns me on more than the thought of a puckered nipple, begging for contact with soft warm lips. I may just let myself go there.
To be continued...