Flirtation or Intent?

Well, last night was a strange mix of adolescent regression, spiritual playfulness, heartfelt connection and an experiment in submission.

Around the table knowing glances are passed but no table talk please.
Socked feet amuse themselves in a secret embrace below while trump are led.
With daughter sleeping elsewhere, this evening, anything is possible.
Drew jokes about an orgy but who would dare?
My left foot finds its way to his jean lap. A familiar (but failed) love - comfortable and safe.
Across from me, radiant playfulness aurates from Sarah, inviting my feet to an even warmer resting spot. Hmmmmm...
The tentative heat of her hands penetrates my curved arches, permeating through the nylon. We euchre them - ha!
Flirtation or intent?
We've known each other for far too long and without beer or wine no one is sure how far they'd really go.
What's really required is an aggressor to call the bluff.
I rise as Drew is declared the champion - "How about a game of truth or dare?"
I light candles and vanilla warmth creates an inviting cocoon in the next room.
Norah Jones entertains us from her smoky jazz bar in the corner

TRUTH be told -
favorite Sexual position?
Female: Hands and knees, chest pressed on the floor

Most perverse turn on?
Male: Bound woman, completely submissive, invitation to dominate and invade

Lost virginity?
Female: 14th birthday, in the back of Tom's Chevy Van, while my best friend waited outside

Most sensitive spot?
Female: My clit - PLEAAAASSSSE be careful!

Most horrible moment sexually?
Male: Selling myself for drugs

Ever sold yourself?
Female: No. Well.... once had sex with someone who helped me on a piece of work at home. It wasn't really trade but more of a thanks.


One of the guys confesses that he thinks this is a bit weird and can we just talk. I didn't mind. I would have kissed Sarah if I'd been dared. I think she wanted me to and I've never kissed a woman on the mouth before.

I tell them all I'm taking Drew upstairs and we wrap it up.

Sarah lingers at the front door and I ask if she wants to stay. She blushes and says she hasn't shaved her legs!!!

I'm OK with that and give her a big hug goodbye. I think she wanted to stay. It would have been OK with me but I really like our friendship and don't want to risk it becoming awkward.

Drew and I head up stairs and I hand him a few scarves to tie me up. He teases me with no avail and we both work ourselves into a complete frenzy.
Drew is really wonderful in bed and a great friend - I nearly say I love you more than once during our exercise in submission but catch myself.
Maybe having him stay all night wasn't such a good idea. It's too snuggly - I didn't want him to go.

We both know we're not meant to be together though. We keep each other company while we wait for the real thing. I've got to do better at keeping my emotions in check though if I'm going to stay involved with him physically. I don't know anyone else that I can call after 10:30 either so I know I lean on him in other ways. I want to call him tonight and invite him over. I would have thought last night would have kept me satisfied for a couple of weeks but I guess that's just not how it works is it?