Slow Cooking Angst

Let’s not define this place I now stand in,
but leave it up to the universe to know
I don’t need to understand everything
I don’t need to knead it – it will work itself out.
If I turn the heat on low, it will slow cook
without any fussing and prodding
Slow and easy does the trick –
like making love on a Sunday morning. 
Nowhere to be no place to go. 
Just being with it is enough.

Tapping into each Other

You half listen to me
with the tap tap tapping of your computer in the background
conquering villages, armies and continents
I know my angst is mine alone, but if I keep it inside, my nervous coil continues to tighten, strangling me in subtle ways
Tap tap tap ....
Am I boring?
Am I self-absorbed?
Am I leaning on you too heavily?
 
Our late night calls make me feel human
Another adult is out there, listening (or tapping)
I cultivate this dependency, returning religiously, night after night.
Sometimes it lifts me
Other times it leaves me mad
Once in a while, I feel misunderstood
I know you know about that one.
 
Perhaps we lean on each other in different ways,
Waiting for something more fulfilling
Who will be the first to find greener pastures?
What will we tell our new lovers about our unique more-than-friendship?
Tap tap tap tap
I love you even when you don't call me, even when you tap tap tap
I try not to fall asleep while you talk
But your voice soothes me, lulling me into exhausted oblivion.
 
I won't call tonight, but I'll want to.  I always do...

Sun and Moon

I look to you, the sun,
I’ve nothing to offer
but the shining waters of my soul

You see through the placid surface and into my depths
raw, tangled emotion, swirling and churning,
springing saltwater leaks
and warm teary tidal pools

I am the stillness in your in your sleep
and the passion in your loins

I need your questioning glances,
your wandering hands and your mocking grin

When I’m lost in angst
and tangled in seaweed fears,
tugging me slowly downward,

You reach out, one sure hand, taut bicep,
with all the reassurance of a warm bath,
a gentle but penetrating heat

And I know that my imagined demons
are slipping away,
withering from lack of attention

You save me over and over

And each time, I’m reborn
with vanilla breath and a shining moonlight smile,
reflecting all the sweetness of your love