Tapping into each Other

You half listen to me
with the tap tap tapping of your computer in the background
conquering villages, armies and continents
I know my angst is mine alone, but if I keep it inside, my nervous coil continues to tighten, strangling me in subtle ways
Tap tap tap ....
Am I boring?
Am I self-absorbed?
Am I leaning on you too heavily?
 
Our late night calls make me feel human
Another adult is out there, listening (or tapping)
I cultivate this dependency, returning religiously, night after night.
Sometimes it lifts me
Other times it leaves me mad
Once in a while, I feel misunderstood
I know you know about that one.
 
Perhaps we lean on each other in different ways,
Waiting for something more fulfilling
Who will be the first to find greener pastures?
What will we tell our new lovers about our unique more-than-friendship?
Tap tap tap tap
I love you even when you don't call me, even when you tap tap tap
I try not to fall asleep while you talk
But your voice soothes me, lulling me into exhausted oblivion.
 
I won't call tonight, but I'll want to.  I always do...