When we first met, I thought I knew myself - but through the years, and the tears, I found out what I lacked, what I needed and I came to know
Exactly why I withered - I felt like a yawning cavern, deep and penetrable but unbearably suffocated
There was a time when I loved him, like a child with a new train set - the excitement of new and unknown filled me with adventure and anticipation
But once the pieces were all in place, once our lives had become interlocked, once the last spike was hammered in as we took our biblical vows, I began to wonder what lay around the next bend.
This life was the closest approximation to the one I had imagined and expected for myself:
Marry well, bear a few tender babes and cultivate a career. It really was a piece of cake - cinnamon, apple spice pound cake.
But it wasn't enough. I knew that now.
~
His eyes met mine across the candlelit linen tablecloth, crisp and white like the chef's starched cap, toppling over like a fallen mushroom
We finished our coffees in silence, but anticipation surrounded us, like a third dinner guest, waiting to be served the main course.
He and I both knew that this clandestine encounter was not about the shrimp bisque, or the prime rib or the crème caramel,
Although the golden honey, flowing down both sides of the jellied fleshy mound was certainly an erotic scintillation at its best!
My thighs moved, slipping like pale silk bed sheets as I crossed my legs, resisting the urge to rub my thighs together, close my eyes and moan out loud.
He knew that like the crème caramel, my juices were smooth and sweet, begging to be tasted and lightly sipped - unspoken nuances had made the charted course quite clear.
After we left the restaurant, as we drove onto the highway, I lifted my pale blue skirt that had been gently caressing my thighs and buttocks all night.
It was more than I could bear - I exposed myself completely.
His long hands reached over to explore but were quickly deflected - this was
my game and he was to watch.
Moving to expose more of my inner folds, I slipped my fingers over my hooded clit, amazed that such an unbearable need could be compressed into such a small place.
Concerned that I might drip on the leather seat, I swabbed my moist crevice with two fingers and let him have a taste.
I heard the slightest rev of the engine as I removed my fingers from his hungry mouth. I prompted him to open his eyes again and avoid driving the car over the curb.
Quickly, I moved my hand back to my own engorged lips and spread them apart. It took all my self-control not to close my thighs and grind my hand into my needful pussy.
He watched me, wanting to pull over but daring himself to continue driving as he squirmed behind the wheel, listening to my quickened breathing and wondering if I would taste as good as I smelled.
By that point though, I'd lost awareness of my companion, the car and the road. Fingers moving deftly, as they had many times before, I was soon thrusting madly up and down, in and out.
I thought of the gear shift and my screaming need but flashed back to urban myths of women stuck in locked cars after having been given Spanish Fly. That was a line I wouldn't cross.
Instead I let both hands move together to apply full, pressure to my lips, labia and clit all at once. The heat began to surge in waves.
I fell over the precipice fully, screaming in the freefall gush of my own doing, hands frozen in place, all muscles taut and fully interrupted.
The orgasm was unifying - all encompassing: my body, spirit and mind, fully captured, alive with a kaleidoscope of sensation and release.
I looked over at my lover, laughing with embarrassment and a natural high.
He pulled over and put his seat back, ready to dive headfirst over the waterfall, as my mouth engulfed his patiently waiting and fully-charged cock.
The slightly salty taste let me know that he was ready and my hands moved in to guide him over the edge.
But I was the one who got wet, as he spurted powerfully, forcibly, masterfully.
The lights of a passing car moved by and then became small and distant, leaving us alone once move, fully unleashed and liberated.
He drove me back to my car, asked me when we could meet again and I drove home to pack my bags for the last time.
~
Lying on the beach in Cuba, I thought of my passionate liaison, feeling my body and pulse quicken all over again.
I promised to live
my life
fully from here on in.
No more pretence.
