I choose to be me

I love my life. I love having friends and family, a job I love, intellect, compassion, a voice, song, passion, insight, vision and soul-fullness. I'm so grateful for the gifts I have today and I hope that I'm doing them justice in the ways that I share them. I sometimes forget that I've given my life to something higher. I sometimes forget that the universe (or whatever's out there) leads me to better places than I could have plotted myself. I often forget that I can be a shining work of art, a star who lights the way, a channel for higher love. I forget and then I remember. I remember and I feel soulful, strong and grounded in certainty of self.

If I could wish for one thing right now it would be to express my highest nature and live my greatest truth - as a mother, as a lover, as a citizen, and as a human being. I wish to express godliness in all facets of my life, to shed the films that block my light, to lose the fear that holds me back, to birth the love that lies dormant in my heart. I wish to let go of all those things that hold me back, that keep me thinking small, that keep me closed and self-protective, fearful and full of limitation. I wish for exceptionality, exquisiteness, sublime expression of passion and truth.

As I recall these aspirations I feel nothing but peace and serenity, because I know that in truth, I'm already fulfilled. I am this potential, whether it comes out all the time or only sometimes - I still hold it in my heart. And the filters that block the beautiful light from shining through are not attached, they aren't part of me. I cling to them like shields or cloaks but in fact they are simply props in a rather comical drama. When I let go of them, I'm amazed at how quickly they drift off, like helium balloons, never meant to stay in one place...…

I'm humbled in reverence for this revelation of my own true identity, mystified that I could have missed it only an hour ago, antagonizing over the trivia of my job insecurities or imagined domestic entrapments. Suddenly, I'm freed. I'm soaring with the knowledge of what really matters, and am able to tune into the real source of my own satisfaction, contentment and pure joy. I can almost feel the sensation of wings sprouting, pulsing, lifting me up out of my own confines to the swifter currents of coalescing light, higher awareness and fearlessness. I am charmed by new rhythms and sounds, rainbows and celestial beings of light. I play in their world, share in their laughter and take comfort in their knowing. It's not that suffering doesn't exist - it does, it's been a big part of my journey. But there comes a time when hanging onto it becomes a choice, and when one knows that it's OK to let it go without judgement or prejudice. Today I choose joy. I choose elation at the beauty that I see everywhere around me. I choose self-satisfaction at my progress instead of condemnation of my shortfallings.

I choose to be free and alive. I choose to be me.