What My Mother Never Knew #7: Pinball Ally Drug Deals

I recall after that first time trying to buy a joint at a pinball arcade. I think my friend was actually the one who had the courage to do it. I don't remember actually smoking it. Actually, I'd rather not remember the details. It's funny how even though I haven't used that stuff in many years, I still feel a strange pull if I think about it for too long. I guess the thought of a quick dose of "peaceful easy feeling" will always toy with me. The thing is, the peaceful easy feeling was short lived, resulting in a crash when the high wore away and for the most part, it never quite met my expectations. The whole fumbling attempt at finding bliss was also fraught with paranoia, depression, drunken blackouts and many other less than rewarding experiences.

I spoke with my mom about pot around that time. I wanted to know why I had found it in her purse. Why was there a roach in the china gravy boat on the fireplace mantle? I'd sniffed it a hundred times, curious about the scent and why people thought it so alluring. My mom's explanation was that some people indulged once in a while. Like having a drink or two. She also warned that for some people experimenting with drugs could lead to more dangerous drugs, psych wards or addiction. My mom explained that my uncle had had a problem with alcohol and that it might be in my genes. She was of the mind that soft drugs like pot were OK as long as you used them and they didn't use you. This foreknowledge later saved my life.