FUAN

Why is it that my emotions consume me, destroying my composition with such ease?
Feelings spew forth, tossing me back and forth and then just as suddenly they stop to cradle me gently in nurturing arms
Some people simply observe the passing states of emotion, like traffic on a downtown street
But not me. I wrap myself up tightly in this feeling or that feeling, creating a self-imposed straight jacket of entanglement, trying desperately to understand the irrational
I'm a constant eruption - of joy - sadness - fear - love - desire. It's unstoppable.
I know that when I allow myself to move into a feeling, without judging, projecting or attempting to manipulate in any way, intense emotion generally passes over me quickly
When I am the observer, I can see things from a higher perspective.
I feel less attached to particular outcomes.
I can trust in what's happening as right and valuable to my constantly evolving self
I wish had a button that I could press to activate that kind of detachment.
I wish I had that now.
Today I sit paralyzed, unable to make things balance out, waiting for some revelation
FUAN: Fucked up and Neurotic
It's a good thing I'm going out dancing tonight!